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Friday, May 3, 2013

All My Children and One Life to Live return - but which one dished up more delicious drama?



The daytime soap operas, All My Children and One Life to Live, returned this week with brand new 30-minute episodes available online and, of course, I tuned in. So here is my review of the highlights (and lowlights) of both shows:

Best Opening Credits: I liked AMC's pleasant theme song with the pics of all the characters, but I didn't care much for OLTL's Dance Fever montage. I have to agree with the online comment by another viewer, who described it as being very reminiscent of The Cosby Show's credits from the 1980s.

Hottest Hunk: No contest here - AMC's Pete Cortlandt, Opal's software genius son who revealed his hunkiness after a sweaty workout (see above pic). He is played by 25-year-old Rob Wilson, who became the first male model on The Price is Right last fall.

Hottest Hunk Runner-Up: AMC's AJ Chandler (Adam's grandson), whose bath towel fell off while he was playing his electric guitar. Brooke later asked him if he was trying out for Chippendales when he shed his clothes in the living room.

Best Couple: A tie between AMC's Jesse and Angie and OLTL's Bo and Nora. It's always nice to see some over-50 couples getting frisky.

Best New Couple: AMC's Pete and Celia

Most Boring Couple: OLTL's Vimal and Rama Patel - I want them to take their open marriage and leave town.

Best Audition to Be ABC's Next Bachelor: AMC's Pete waiting with a rose for Celia.

Best Younger Cast: AMC has by far the best younger cast with Pete's pursuit of Celia and AJ's obvious crush on Miranda. OLTL, on the other hand, only has one younger cast member who isn't irritating to watch - Viki's cute new reporter Jeffrey King (played by High School Musical's Corbin Bleu).

Saddest Character: Poor Dixie Martin on AMC, whose son JR has been in a coma for five years and her true love Tad appears to have left town.

Best Casting of a Familiar Face: The headmistress of Celia's school, Evelyn Johnson, is played by Francesca James, who previously appeared on AMC as Kitty Shea and her twin sister, Kelly Cole.

Best Natalie Portman Impression: Denyse Tontz, who plays AMC's Miranda, reminds me of the Oscar-winning actress.

Dirtiest Mouth: I liked when OLTL's Todd called Blair "a shitty parent", but I think AMC's AJ said "shit" more than anyone else.

Best Punch: AMC's AJ clobbered Hunter, the obnoxious object of Miranda's affections who wanted her to "get her freak on" with another girl.

Best Destination: Jane's Addiction coffee shop on AMC.

Worst Destination: Blair's new nightclub, Shelter, on OLTL. Watching people dance to bad music is a boring waste of time that could be spent on actual dramatic scenes.

Best Mystery: Who is Celia's mysterious guardian on AMC?

Best Mystery Runner-Up: Did AMC's Cara really miscarry her and David's baby?

Best Surprise: OLTL's Victor Lord, Jr. (played by Trevor St. John) was revealed at the end of the first episode to be the mysterious guy in the hoodie. He somehow escaped from Allison Perkins, who was holding him hostage in the final ABC episode.

Best Storyline: Who did JR shoot during the party on the final ABC episode of AMC? It turns out David Hayward tried to stop JR, but the gun went off during their struggle, killing David's daughter Marissa. A devastated David then shot JR (putting him in a coma) and was sent to prison.

Worst Storyline: AMC's violent kidnapping storyline, in which a Russian mobster handcuffed Angie's daughter Cassandra to a bed and beat her up. This was not enjoyable to watch.

Worst Storyline Runner-Up: OLTL's drug storyline centered around Todd and Téa's annoying daughter Dani, who wound up in the hospital after an overdose.

Best Actor in a Dramatic Role: Vincent Irizarry as AMC's Dr. David Hayward, who was paroled from prison after five years, confronted Cara about their baby and almost pulled the plug on a comatose JR.

Best Actor in a Comedic Role: Tuc Watkins as OLTL's David Vickers, who stole every scene he was in with his reality show and his Saturday Night Fever entrance at Shelter.

Best Actress: A tie between OLTL's Viki and Dorian, of course, who are now back at each other's throats over Viki's newspaper coverage of Dorian's political scandal.

Most Missed Characters: AMC's divalicious Erica Kane and OLTL's wacky Roxy Balsom.

Best Thursday Cliffhanger: AMC's David decided that he had to stop JR from waking up from his coma.

Worst Thursday Cliffhanger: OLTL had Victor rip off the head of a stuffed giraffe in his dead son's nursery. I understand the guy is angry about his baby's death, but it was not a good "I can't wait to see what happens next" cliffhanger.

Best Friday More Show: OLTL wins this for featuring the fabulous Erika Slezak as a guest. I like this weekly program, which gives us a brief recap of the best moments of the week and some  interviews with the cast. However, they need to get rid of the lame non-soap stuff - like the relationship expert and the swimsuit fashion show.

All My Children Grade: B+ (there was a melancholy pall during its debut week with Brooke's nightmares and Dixie's deep depression over the 5-year-old shooting, and I do miss Erica's over-the-top divaness. The show currently doesn't have any comic relief from all of its drama. However, except for Cassandra's violent kidnapping, the rest of the storylines kept my interest with the outcome of JR's shooting and Celia's mysterious guardian. It also doesn't hurt to feature some shirtless beefcake, which kept my interest as well)

One Life to Live Grade: C+ (it's wonderful to see Viki and Dorian and Bo and Nora again, but most of the show's storylines didn't do much for me during its debut week. I'm mildly curious to learn what happened to Victor - and Viki and Dorian are always fun to watch when they get together, but Dorian's political scandal involving CIA documents was kind of a drag. But at least OLTL has David Vickers, who provided the best - and most amusing - moments of the week. Hopefully the writing will improve because the show has a lot of talent in need of some delicious drama)

You can catch up on the first week of All My Children and One Life to Live on Hulu by clicking on the following links: www.hulu.com/all-my-children and www.hulu.com/one-life-to-live

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