Welcome to The Groove Tube, a weekly recap of the highlights (and lowlights) of some of the scripted TV shows I'm watching (in order of preference):
Best Exchange of the Week: Axel: Maggie, she's with Glenn, and you're a lesbian, and I was just talkin’ with her...
Carol: I’m not a lesbian.
Axel: You got the... short hair. You’re not a lesbian? My, my, this is interesting.
Carol: No, it’s not.
Most Disturbing Death of the Week: Michonne killed the Governor's walker daughter Penny.
Best Fight of the Week: Michonne and the Governor's, in which she stabbed him in the eye with a shard of glass from his many aquariums.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week: Brothers Merle and Daryl were finally reunited in the Governor's fighting ring. Will they survive?
Grade: A (a great mid-season finale - but now we have to wait until February 10 for the next new episode)
Mid-Season Grade: A-
Cutest Couple of the Week Runner-Up: Juliette and football player Sean
Hottest Hunk of the Week: 31-year-old Tilky Jones as Sean.
Most Boring Storyline of the Week: Teddy's mayoral campaign is becoming a drag. They need to wrap up this storyline ASAP.
Best Duet of the Week: Rayna and Juliette's "Wrong Song" during their record label's anniversary show.
Grade: A (it's good television drama whenever Rayna and Juliette are in scenes together)
Best Cameo of the Week Runner-Up: Beverly Hills 90210's Shannon Doherty was David's wife in his dream.
Best Cher Impersonation of the Week: Shania was suspended from school for performing Cher's "Half-Breed" during an assembly (I thought she was a hoot).
Best Guest Star of the Week: Frances Conroy as a chic-looking Angel of Death.
Best Actress of the Week: I love Lily Rabe as the evil Sister Mary Eunice.
Great Escape of the Week: Before the psycho Dr. Thredson could kill her, Lana knocked him unconscious and escaped from his house of horrors.
Worst Luck of the Week: Poor Lana hitched a ride with another crazy guy who shot himself in the head, causing the car to crash - and she ended up back in Briarcliff.
Best Cameo of the Week Honorable Mention: Tom Cruise's cousin, actor William Mapother, played the upset husband who gave Lana a ride.
Best Cameo of the Week by a Web Series Actress: Danielle Kennedy, who plays Fran on the groovy web series, Ave 43, was a waitress in the diner where Sister Jude chatted with the Angel of Death.
Best Surprise of the Week: Sister Jude was shocked when she went to visit the parents of the young girl she killed many years ago and discovered that she was still alive and well.
Best Reunion of the Week Honorable Mention: Kit and Grace were briefly reunited.
Saddest Death of the Week: The Angel of Death kissed Grace after a guard accidentally shot her instead of Kit.
Grooviest Wedding and Cutest Couple of the Week: Liz Lemon married her gorgeous boyfriend Chris.
Grooviest Wedding Dress of the Week: Liz Lemon's Princess Leia outfit.
Hottest Groom of the Week: 39-year-old James Marsden as Chris Chros (the actor really looks good in a turtleneck).
Best Cameo of the Week: Tony Bennett who sang "Just in Time" at the wedding.
Grade: A (a hilarious episode)
Best Surprise of the Week Runner-Up: The Queen of Hearts was revealed to be Regina's evil mother Cora.
Best Reunion of the Week Runner-Up: Emma and Henry were reunited when she and Snow finally returned to Storybrooke.
Best Reunion of the Week: Upon her return, Snow kissed Charming, waking him from his sleeping curse.
Most Changed Character of the Week: Regina saved Emma and Snow from Gold's deadly spell, allowing them to return to Storybrooke through the portal. And Henry gave her a big hug.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week Runner-Up: Hook and Cora were seen sailing towards Storybrooke on his ship.
Grade: A (almost a happy ending for everyone - but danger lurks in the new year with the arrival of Hook and Cora)
Mid-Season Grade: A-
Best Return of the Week: Quinn Fabray!
Best Guest Star of the Week Runner-Up: Sarah Jessica Parker as Kurt's boss, Isabelle.
Best Fight of the Week Runner-Up: Quinn and Santana slapped each other.
Best Dressed of the Week: Santana's striped mini dress with a leather vest and black boots.
Best Backflip of the Week: The Warblers' Hunter during their Sectionals performance.
Best Musical Performance Honorable Mention: Quinn, Santana and Brittany's performance of the Supremes' 1964 hit, "Come See About Me".
Best Musical Performance Runner-Up: The opening mash-up performance of "Homeward Bound" and "Home".
Best Musical Performance: The performance at Rachel and Kurt's apartment of Scissor Sisters' "Let's Have a Kiki" and "Turkey Lurkey Time" (from the 1968 musical, Promises, Promises) is the grooviest and gayest mash-up that I think I've ever seen.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week Honorable Mention: Marley collapsed during Sectionals.
Grade: A- (after last week's disappointing episode, the show bounced back with this enjoyable outing)
Grade: A- (it was a funny episode - especially Cam in a tree dressed in his costume from the musical, Cats)
Least Surprising Affair of the Week: In early October I blogged that it wouldn't be surprising to learn that Ashley was also sleeping with Conrad - an affair which has now been revealed on an incriminating video!
Best Break-Up of the Week: Daniel dumped Ashley. Hooray!
Grade: C (I really hope that Aiden, the Ryan brothers and the Initiative all disappear in the new year because this series desperately needs to get back on track)
Mid-Season Grade: B