Welcome to The Groove Tube, a weekly recap of the highlights (and lowlights) of some of the scripted TV shows I'm watching (in order of preference):
Hottest Hunk of the Week Runner-Up: I confess that I have a little crush on Justin Bartha, who continues to make me swoon.
Best Supporting Actress of the Week: Young Bebe Wood as Shania, who wore a baby's skirt as a top and kissed a boy named Wilbur at school.
Best Line: “I read online that Judas was a redhead - I don’t trust any one of them. Every time I see Reba McEntire, I just wanna shout ‘You killed my Lord and Savior!’” - Gary the doctor (played by the wonderful Michael Hitchcock)
SPOILERS: Actress Marlo Thomas (That Girl) will guest star in Episode 10, and Leisha Hailey (The L Word) and Constance Zimmer will play a lesbian couple, beginning in Episode 5.
Grade: B (I didn't like this episode as much as the first two, but it had its amusing moments. But the underlying theme of the show seemed to be that both gay men and the mentally challenged can be assholes)
Female Singers More Worthy Than Britney Spears of a Second (or even first) Tribute Episode: Karen Carpenter, Cher, Judy Garland, Madonna, Bette Midler, Olivia Newton-John, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer.
Hottest Hunk of the Week: The yummy Brody (Dean Geyer) wins again.
Hottest Hunk Honorable Mention: Jake, who apparently is a "womanizer".
Best Cameo of the Week: Brittany's cat Lord Tubbington, who has joined a gang.
Best Pamphlet of the Week: Emma gave Brittany one called So You Look Like Crap.
Grooviest NYC Loft: Rachel and Kurt's - but I hate to think what they are paying in rent.
Best Non-Musical Scene: The Patti LuPone cellphone spoof featuring Cassandra July in Damn Yankees.
Best Return of the Week: Mark Salling as Puck, who tried to straighten out his half-brother Jake - and who's dating the third runner-up on The Bachelor out in L.A.
Least Favorite Character: Head cheerleader Kitty, whom Jake is inexplicably dating.
Worst Rejection of the Week: Brody gave Rachel flowers, but the foolish girl rebuffed his kiss. However, later she did paint over Finn's name on her apartment wall, which is a step in the right direction.
Best Musical Performance: The only number that I thoroughly enjoyed was the mashup of Britney Spears' "U Drive Me Crazy" and Aerosmith's "Crazy" sung by Marley and Jake on the school bleachers. It was a sweet scene - but I almost expected them to start singing "Summer Nights" from Grease. And although they make a cute couple, both of them could use a sense of humor like their glee club predecessors Rachel and Puck have always had.
Grade: C (my opinion of Britney Spears has not changed since Glee did its first Britney show two years ago - I'm just not a fan of her music. Hopefully there are not enough Britney songs left to ever do a third tribute episode)