Welcome to The Groove Tube, a weekly recap of the highlights (and lowlights) of some of the scripted TV shows I'm watching (in order of preference).
Best Guest Star of the Week: Bernadette Peters returned as Ivy's mother, who was hoping to see her daughter as a Broadway star.
Best Firing of the Week: After learning that Ellis put peanuts in Rebecca's smoothie, Eileen FINALLY fired the little asshole. Hooray!
Least Favorite Storyline: Frank saw Julia comforting Michael over his wife leaving him and got all bent out of shape. Julia needs a new man in her life next season.
Most Brutal Honesty of the Week: When Ivy confronted him about choosing Karen to be Marilyn, Derek informed her that Karen has something that she doesn't. Ouch!
Best Break-Up of the Week Runner-Up: After learning that Dev slept with Ivy, a devastated Karen returned his ring.
Is She Pregnant?: When Julia threw up, I immediately jumped to this conclusion - but I really don't want to see a pregnant Julia next season.
Best Musical Performance Runner-Up: Karen's performance of "I Never Met a Wolf Who Didn't Love to Howl" (which Ivy sang in a previous episode).
Best Musical Performance: Karen's fabulous new song, "Don't Forget Me", which Marilyn sings on her deathbed.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week Runner-Up: Will a depressed Ivy survive her overdose of pills? Of course she will.
Grade: A (lots of great drama - and Eileen got rid of Ellis, which was a great way to end the season)
Overall Season Grade: B (after a fabulous pilot episode, this Broadway soap opera had a bumpy first season with some bad storylines - especially Julia's annoying family problems and Tom's cute but Republican boyfriend. However, the original music by composers Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman was quite enjoyable - and the talented cast of Debra Messing, Jack Davenport, Katharine McPhee, Christian Borle, Megan Hilty and the marvelous Anjelica Huston kept me tuning in from beginning to end. I'm looking forward to Season 2, which won't debut until January)
Ratings: 5.96 million viewers, #3 in time period with 4.0 rating/6 share
Saddest Death of the Week: Jack and Emily cried over the death of their dog Sammy - a very emotional scene.
Best Kiss of the Week: Jack and Emily - but Ashley saw them, which means trouble.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week: After Nolan planted a camera in the white-haired man's home, the evil guy knocked him unconscious.
Grade: A (I almost shed a tear myself)
Ratings: 6.90 million viewers, #2 in time period with 4.7 rating/8 share
Best Return of the Week Honorable Mention: Michael Gladis as Paul Kinsey, whom we haven't seen since the third season - and now he's a Hare Krishna with a shaved head and a Star Trek script.
Worst Business Partner of the Week: Lane, who forged Don's signature on a check in order to embezzle funds from the agency.
Best Meltdown of the Week: Joan needed a stiff drink after receiving divorce papers and calling the receptionist an idiot.
Best Meltdown of the Week Runner-Up: Megan angrily threw her dinner plate against the wall when Don showed up drunk.
Best Friend of the Week: Don, who took Joan for a few drinks and spin in a Jaguar to cheer her up.
Worst Friend of the Week: Harry, who had sex in his office with the girl that Paul loves - but he later gave him $500 and a ticket to Los Angeles to begin a new life.
Grade: B+ (a great Joan and Don episode)
Ratings: 1.92 million viewers, 0.6 rating (adults 18-49)
"Nationals" (Episode 65/May 15, 2012)
Most Amusing Sue Moment: When she revealed that she was Jennifer Beals' dance double in the film, Flashdance.
Best Non-Musical Scene: After Tina fell in the shopping center fountain and hit her head, she imagined everyone switching roles - including her and Rachel (but I loved Sue and Will's body-swap the best).
Best Return of the Week: Alex Newell as Vocal Adrenaline's transgender lead singer Wade "Unique" Adams (who needs to become a regular next season).
Hottest Hunk of the Week: A shirtless Will, who finally had sex with Emma.
Best Return of the Week Runner-Up: A handsome Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James.
Worst Scene: Poor Puck was dumped in the dumpster after fighting with the loser hockey player Ricky.
Best Non-Musical Scene Runner-Up: Coach Beiste comforted Puck, who cried.
Best Break-Up of the Week: Beiste finally left her abusive husband Cooter.
Best Hug of the Week: Sue hugged Beiste.
Worst Judges of the Week: Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton (I fondly remember the good old days of Glee when Olivia Newton-John and Kathy Griffin were judges - now the show is scraping the bottom of the celebrity barrel).
Nicest Gesture of the Week: Jesse gave a glowing recommendation for Rachel to Carmen.
Best Musical Performance Honorable Mentions: Vocal Adrenaline's "Pinball Wizard" and New Directions' "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" at Nationals.
Best Musical Performance Runner-Up: Puck and Beiste's performance of Taylor Swift's "Mean".
Best Musical Performances: A tie between Rachel and Tina's "Flashdance... What a Feeling" as they boarded the glee club's bus to Nationals (a good ending to "Props") and the glee club's performance of Queen's 1977 song, "We Are the Champions", during "Nationals".
Best Line: “Jennifer Beals is spinning in her grave” – Sue after watching the glee club's Flashdance choreography
Grade for both episodes: B+
"Props" Ratings: 6.09 million viewers, #3 in time period with 3.7 rating/6 share
"Nationals" Ratings: 6.03 million viewers, #4 in time period with 3.6 rating/5 share
Best Guest Star of the Week Runner-Up: Sordid Lives' Beth Grant as Maxine the diner waitress.
Best Parenting Skills of the Week: Definitely Claire over Cam (she tells Lily "no", which he doesn't).
Grade: B (I liked the family posing for Alex's living display of Norman Rockwell's Thanksgiving painting)
Ratings: 9.36 million viewers, #3 in time period with 5.7 rating/9 share