Welcome to The Groove Tube, a weekly recap of the highlights (and lowlights) of some of the scripted TV shows I'm watching (in order of preference).
TV Series of the Week: American Horror Story
"Halloween (Part 1)" (Episode 4/October 26, 2011)Favorite Homosexual (and Guest Star) of the Week: First The Playclub Club's Sean Maher came out as a gay man in September, and now actor Zachary Quinto, who also played one on American Horror Story this week.
Best Opening Scene of the Week: The previous residents of the house, gay couple Chad (Quinto) and Patrick, bitched at each other before being killed by the scary Rubber Man.
Best Cameo Appearance by a Daytime Soap Actor: Michael Graziadei as Constance's young boyfriend Travis (he has played Daniel Romalotti on The Young and the Restless since 2004).
Cutest Security Guy: 42-year-old Morris Chestnut as Luke, who installed a new security system in the house. Will he and Vivien become more intimately acquainted?
Best Dead Fluffers: Chad and Patrick, whom Vivien mistook as the "fluffers" she hired to style the house for Halloween.
Best "Reach Out and Touch" Moment of the Week: Patrick grabbed Ben's crotch, but Ben sadly refused to let the guy suck his cock.
Favorite Character of the Week: Constance's sassy daughter Addie (wonderfully played by Jamie Brewer)
Best Line: "Violet! That girl's got another cupcake coming!" - Constance
Most Disgusting Story: Tate revealed to Violet the mystery of the monster baby in the basement - after his baby was kidnapped and dismembered, former resident Dr. Charles Montgomery brought the child back to life with a needle and thread - and a few animal parts. Gross!
The Return of Rosemary's Baby: Vivien's baby kicks her after only eight weeks and makes her sick, and later an ultrasound reveals that the child is much bigger than it should be. It's also not a good sign when your doctor faints.
Most Shocking Death of the Week: Oh no, Addie was hit by a car while trick-or-treating! Poor pretty girl. I wished they hadn't killed her off because she and her mother Constance were great together. However, I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Addie as people do tend to come back from the dead on this show.
Best Performance of the Week: Jessica Lange as a distraught Constance. You had to feel sorry for her.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week: The Rubber Man is standing behind Violet, and Hayden returns from the dead!
Grade: A+
Ratings: 2.96 million viewers, 1.7 (adults 18-49) rating
2) Revenge
"Intrigue" (Episode 6/October 26, 2011)Lucky Lady of the Week: Emily because she gets to wake up next to the hunky Daniel.
Lucky Lady of the Week Runner-Up: Lydia, who somehow survived her fall and is now in a coma.
Best Handyman: Jack, who fixed Emily's porch swing.
Best Hostess: Victoria throws the best parties/events - and she certainly has enough of them.
Best Villain of the Week: Tyler, who drugged Daniel's drink and then injured his own head in order to accuse his friend of hitting him while drunk.
Most Awkward Confession: Jack admitted his feelings for Emily, who gently rejected him. Poor guy.
Grade: A
Ratings: 8.72 million viewers, #2 in time period with 5.8 rating/10 share
3) Once Upon a Time
"The Thing You Love Most" (Episode 2/October 30, 2011)Best Guest Star of the Week Runner-Up: True Blood's Kristin Bauer van Straten as Maleficent, the Evil Queen's frenemy.
Best Fight of the Week: The Evil Queen vs. Maleficent over the curse that the latter has.
Best Apples in Town: Gotta love Regina's apples, which she brought to Emma - along with a threat for her to leave town.
Best Scene: Emma cutting down Regina's apple tree with a chainsaw.
Most Shocking Death of the Week Runner-Up: In order to enact the curse, the Evil Queen killed the person she loves the most - her own father, Henry!
Grade: B+
Ratings: 11.74 million viewers, #3 in time period with 6.8 rating/10 share
4) The Vampire Diaries
"Ghost World" (Episode 51/October 27, 2011)Best Ghostly Returns of the Week: Stefan's friend Lexi (Arielle Kebbel) who came back to help him become a nice guy again, and Bonnie's Grams (Jasmine Guy), who returned to help her granddaughter close the doorway to "the other side".
Best Boyfriend Drama of the Week: Bonnie broke up with Jeremy after learning that Elena caught him kissing Anna, whom he still loves.
Grade: B+
Ratings: 3.28 million viewers, #5 in time period with 2.0 rating/3 share
5) Suburgatory
"Halloween" (Episode 5/October 26, 2011)I enjoyed both storylines this week - the mystery surrounding Misty, the girl who used to live in Tessa's house, and George trying to convince Dallas to let him decorate his home for a scary Halloween.
Best Guest Star of the Week Honorable Mention: Actor Jay Mohr as Dallas' husband Steven, who greeted George with a punch in the face.
Grade: B+
Ratings: 9.73 million viewers, #2 in time period with 6.0 rating/10 share
6) Parks and Recreation
"Meet 'n' Greet" (Episode 51/October 27, 2011)Best Halloween Costume of the Week: Jerry as Mr. Potato Head (and actor Jim O'Heir deserves kudos for making me laugh each week).
Funniest Moment: April putting Jerry's Mr. Potato Head smile upside down into a frown.
Grade: B
Ratings: 3.87 million viewers, #4 in time period with 2.5 rating/4 share
7) Desperate Housewives
"Witch's Lament" (Episode 163/October 30, 2011)Worst Housewife of the Week: Lynette for telling Tom's new girlfriend, Jane (nicely played by Andrea Parker) to back off. I like Jane for not letting Lynette push her around - but I'm sure the writers will soon make us not like the character as they already have this season with Bree's ex-lover, Chuck.
Worst Storyline: Miguel Ferrer is a good actor, but his lame storyline as Susan's unpleasant art teacher needs to go away ASAP.
Worst Storyline Runner-Up: Bree planting frogs at Ben's construction site in order to stop his development project.
Best Halloween Costume of the Week Runners-Up: Gaby's daughters dressed up as bacon and eggs.
Best Reference to an Ann-Margret film: Lynette's daughter Penny revealed her costume as a Kitten with a Whip - the title of a 1964 movie starring the actress.
Most Predictable Cliffhanger of the Week: Bree, Gaby and Lynette discovered that the body was gone from its grave in the woods - which anyone with a brain could have predicted from the very first scene.
Grade: D (I plan to hang in there until the bitter end, but if the show wasn't in its final season, I would definitely be tuning out)
Ratings: 9.28 million viewers, #3 in time period with 6.1 rating/9 share
8) Pan Am
"The Genuine Article" (Episode 6/October 30, 2011)Last Words: No, the show hasn't been canceled - even though its ratings continue to fall each week - but The Groove Tube will no longer be flying with Pan Am due to its dismal storylines. It's a shame that the series is so poorly written because it's got great production values and a very attractive and mostly talented cast. But I just don't care about any of the characters, except for Colette, whom the writers have apparently forgotten exists. So I'm no longer going to waste a precious hour of my time each week being bored by this sleeping pill of a show.
The only good thing about this episode was the opening scene featuring a shirtless Dean. I hope that actor Mike Vogel as well as Christina Ricci, Karine Vanasse and Kelli Garner will all find far more entertaining gigs in the future.
Overall Grade: D (Watching Pan Am is like eating a cream-filled chocolate only to discover that there isn't anything inside - pretty but empty)
Ratings: 5.46 million viewers, #3 in time period with 3.8 rating/6 share
0 comments:
Post a Comment